Every Gnome Deserves a Vacation

Hello gentle reader, please take a moment to enjoy a few notes on our latest adventure, a full week in Hawaii.  We are also including several photos featuring Hans Uberalles, our very own Travelocity gnome presented by several teachers from my school (thanks ladies).  We dragged this gnome to several beautiful locations and caused a bit of a stir at a few.

So, sit back, relax and enjoy a delicious Mai Tai as you take on the Aloha spirit.

"Mom, he's on my side of the plane!"

This airplane to Hawaii seems more like the wood paneled station wagons of my youth, instead of featherless metal birds defying the laws of gravity, miserable families are packed in taking up several rows and passing video games, snacks and sharply worded comments across seats and aisles.  The difference is that DINKS (Dual Income and No Kids) like Rusty and myself wouldn't have been subjected to the family dysfunctions of these families during the station wagon halcyon days.

Knowing we will most certainly share the next few weeks trapped on an island does not put me in a particularly restful state.  Serving the state of California as a steward of the children's education, you would think I have more patience for kids, but I venture to guess gynecologists aren't interested in seeing Va Jay Jay's in their time off, so it is with me, No Kids, and No Va Jay Jays.

There are a few things of which I am certain: I am certain we over packed, preparing for almost every contingency, minus the possibility of encountering a blizzard.  I'm certain Rusty is very excited by this trip, as he normally hunkers down with a good book and speaks to no one.  It's so great to see him reach his seven-year-old excited about Christmas morning inner child.  I want to feel that but just feel tired and stressed.  I'm also certain the fun tax will be high...Ch-Ching $$$ but well worth it.

Who's the Math Master now!  Those of you who know me, know that math may not exactly be my forte.  Adding in dates and times?  Well, that's a triumvirate of terror for me (I'm so terrified of dates and times, I show up to everything 45 minutes early as part of my over compensation!)  The airline hosted a little contest.  We all had to guess the time half way to Hawaii, after scribbling down all the figures and cyphering, whose name should they call over the loudspeaker? "Walt Lewis in seat 21C".  My Prize, a full bottle of Redtree Cab. Sav., with fancy screw top.  Bottle of red wine?  $10.99  Bragging rights for a math contest? Priceless.

This airplane has been chasing the sun as it sets in the west and is slowly losing the race.  The sun is disappearing over the the horizon.  The sky boasts red, pink, gold, and a deep blue only possible at thirty thousand feet.  I'm ready to see this same sunset on the beaches of Hawaii.  Perhaps I had not realized how empty I am feeling, maybe a few beautiful sunsets and languid days on the beach will be the restorative so desperately needed.

N 18 Degrees 55.205' and W 155 Degrees 30.237'

Up at 3 AM, uggg, the time change is a bitch.  After a light breakfast and even lighter Kona coffee, we drove to the Southern most point of the US.  From this point we hiked the 2 1/2 miles across terrain never highlighted in the Hawaiian brochures but beautiful in the starkness, a barren coastal plain contrasting against the gorgeous blue sea.

We were buffeted by winds the entire time but enjoyed the sunshine the entire way.  Finally arriving at the destination, the Green Sand Beach (Papakolea), we beheld a true paradise.  A violent upward thrust of this rocky outcropping exposed olivitine, which over decades wore away to a brilliant green sand.

We swam in the bluest water imaginable and managed to enjoy a sea turtle hanging out for most of the day.  I imagine the tattoo shops around here do a lot of sea turtles after the hippy chicks have their very own "mystical" experience.  Frolicking in the waves, everyone managed to tap into their inner child.  Rusty called this our "Green Sand Spa Treatment", consisting of primarily a wind blown exfoliation.  A hike back to the car, and a 50 mile drive back to Kona taking a good two hours...ugggg, this one lane highway.

We rushed back to meet Todd a terrific friend from my formative years, yes, high school days.  we also met Dan, his partner.  We enjoyed $5.00 Mai Tai's in the open air bar of our hotel(the best on the island).  The sunset was absolutely stunning (yet again), before an excellent dinner at the Kona Brewing Company (very good beer with a hint of passion fruit). As with fine wine and everything else of value, Todd has mellowed with age to a gracious and wonderfully witty person (translate that as anyone who laughs at my jokes).  Dan is an equally exquisite conversationalist and we will definitely reconnect.

When's Dis Suckah Gonna Blow

Hawaii Volcano National Park is situated in a rainforest, the verb of course is rain as much of the day we experienced very little sun.  A quick trip to the visitors center, a short video, and a quick tour with Ranger Dave (one of the geeky gays - with enough social skills to keep it interesting) gave us a great introduction to this natural wonder.

I certainly experienced lots of "Did you know?" moments and learned so much.  The Hawaiian Islands are all formed from the same hot spot.  After an island forms, the slow moving continental plate moves the island along.  The oldest island in the chain is sinking and wearing away and will one day be subsumed under another plate.  How cool is that?!

Wildlife evolved on the island fairly isolated and developed a benign tranquility where as Australia evolved in isolation and everything became deadly.  I'm just sayin'!  Disappointingly, the lava was not flowing into the sea during our visit.

First stop in the park?  The Thurston Lava Tube.  The name? Apparently, a wayward bunch of castaways with a billionaire on board were stranded on this island, and the tube was named for the billionaire.  They tried out the name, "Lovey Tube," but the name never took hold because of the double entendre nature.

Next, a four mile hike through Halema'uma'u Crater.  Quite frankly, we were wet, tired and never more elated.  The foggy rain made it difficult to see at times, and more difficult to adequately photograph but also gave the whole area an other worldly jurassic quality.  Many of the cracks leaked heat and steam reminding us the whole area sits on magma ready to blow.

 Leaving the Crater we witnessed a faint but colorful rainbow as the sun peaked from behind the clouds for three minutes.  One can understand how the early Hawaiians saw this violent display as the wrath and alternatively the blessings of Pele the goddess.

Dave the Ranger told an interesting myth about Pele and the Ohi a Lehua tree.  A Hawaiian Prince Ohi was in love with the maiden Lehua. Pele, the goddess, was also in love with Ohi.  Because the prince was in love with the maiden, a rebuked Pele turned the prince into a tree.  The prince appealed to the other gods, and although all were sympathetic to his plight, the gods also knew not to cross Pele, fearing retribution, so they turned Lehua into the flower of the tree forever uniting the lovers.  Great story.

The tree happens to be incredibly adapted to the Volcano environment.  It can be buried up to the a few feet of lava on its trunk and manage to resprout a new tree.  This amazing tree can shut down its respiratory process when the sulfur dioxide from the volcano gets too high.  The tree requires little water to survive.  Mother nature is way cool!

So, the hike out of the crater - hot, wet, sweaty and steep. It turns out we went the opposite way of the intended route.    As we entered the parking lot, rain started to really pour down.  We really felt the need to see glowing lava, and had to wait until dark for this privilege.  What better way to wait out the rain, a quick surprise visit to Suzie's house in Hilo.  Suzie is a vivacious friend of Rusty's from BW (Before Walt).  We hung out in the Lady Cave waiting for the kiln to finish glass art and imposed ourselves on Suzie for dinner.  What a generous spirit and cool glass artist.

Then, back to the volcano for an underwhelming red glow through the rain , fog, and steam...but, we saw it!  Hmmm, a bit under whelming.

Finally a long drive back to the hotel after an exhausting day, and bed at midnight thirty.

God or no God, I'm Gonna Kill the Cook

Up early after a long on the volcano to drive to the Kona Boys Kayak shop.  Our goal?  Captain Cook's memorial.  This British explorer was the first Euro Trash to run across the Hawaiian Islands in 1777.  The indigenous population hailed him as a god on his arrival.  Upon his departure from the island,  a storm arose and Captain Cook had to return to the island.  The native people figured he must not be a god as no god worth his salt would be turned back by a storm.  Needless to say, Captain Cook was killed in the fray that followed.  Imperialism runs aground once again.

Without a permit, docking on the monument is not allowed, so we spent our time snorkeling from the kayak, and seeing parrot fish, butterfly fish, sea urchins and a bevy of other sea creatures.  The rental place suggested an early start and we were certainly happy we followed this advise, as the longer we stayed more Kayaks showed up, divers arrived and eventually a cruise ship with hundreds of snorkelers dropped anchor.   We made a hasty retreat and ended up eating lunch in the middle of the bay as a pod of dolphins glided by.  Those hippy chicks getting sea turtle tattoos are probably having dual dolphins placed as a stamp tramp as we speak.

A quick trip back to the hotel for some much needed lounging by the pool.  We relaxed until happy hour and enjoyed $5.00 Mai Tai's from the original inventor, Don the Beachcomber .  We decided to get dinner and my selfish boyfriend twisted his ankle on uneven pavement, of course the five Mai Tais had nothing to do with it but I have my suspicions.  We spent the remainder of the evening nursing a sprained ankle in the room and eating Take Out Thai food.  Truly, the only cure for this calamity is more resting by the pool and of course more Mai Tais.

Tripping Over Turtles and Burying Pigs

Suzie, that bundle of spitfire, showed up in the AM to spend the day with us and enjoy a bit of frivolity.  After a long leisurely breakfast and an even longer bout of catch up for the last 20 years or so, we went to Puako, a very quiet non touristy beach.  Swimming with sea turtles.  'Nuff said.

A quick shower and in line for the Royal Kona Resort Luau with the rabble of Hawaiian tourists.  We are well aware that this is an extremely touristy thing to do, but there you have it.  We enjoyed an open bar and huge punch bowls of Mai Tais, uggg, no more fruity drinks instead opting for vodka, soda and lime, very refreshing on a hot spring Hawaiian evening.

The dinner was decent, with Fish Poke (too much sesame oil), another fish option, salads, and of course the Imu, or buried pig.  We were fortunate to see the process of prepping the pig earlier in the day and we were excited to be there for the big reveal.  The best thing about the reveal was that everyone was distracted for long enough for us to get another round from the bar.

The meal?  Ok  The company at our table?  Uninspiring.  The show?  Not bad, a plethora of Polynesian dances, including the Hakka from our New Zealand Maori friends, and of course the finale fire twirling.  Although the dancers were good, we figured these must be the scrubs as all other hula dancers must be at the Merry Monarch Festival in Hilo, on the other side of the island.

Crab and Lobster Feast

A quick stop at the Energy Lab on our way to Hilo.  The lab researches alternative energy, and lest you think this is going to be a tirade on sustainable energy practices, the Energy Lab also has lobster and crab growing tanks.  We purchased the delicious arthropods for this evenings feast.

A quick trip to Costco for beer and Shrimp and Grits supplies, then off to Hilo and Suzie's house once again.  Chateau de Suzie has a terrific view of Hilo...

The feast?  Absolutely fantastic.  Butter and crab and butter and lobster and butter...The guest list included Aaron, Suzie's son, daughter in law Rachel (an absolute delight), Sage (their beautiful and brilliant daughter), and Michael and John, a wonderfully witty couple of conversationalists with the good taste to gush over my Shrimp and Grits.

Good food, good conversation and terrific weather...can life get any more cholesterol filled or sweeter.

Don't miss the final posting under older posts.

The Hilo Tour and then home

Up early to tour the second largest city in Hawaii, Hilo.  Exceptional beauty in this rain forest by the sea.  Of particular note, the Lilieukalani gardens, with wonderful Japanese bridges and lush sculpted foliage.  While in the park, we witnessed a hula troop practicing for the Merry Monarch festival, in town at the moment (a world wide competition of hula dancing).  Tickets for the festival sell out a year before, so we were content to wander the market, and enjoying the crafts and artwork.

A quick stop for the thinnest beef jerky ever, and the Big Island Candy Company (delicious and beautiful chocolate covered macadamia nuts, lavender olive oil cookies, and excellent chocolate covered lemon shortbread cookies.  These delicacies certainly spoke to my inner snob.  We spent way too much money but what a way to go to the poor house.  A quick shave ice with cream and it was time to bid Suzie good bye.  Thanks, Suzie, for the great touring of the East coast.

A quick stop at Akaka Falls Sate Park.  When one thinks of Hawaiian topography, this park typifies the lushness and greenery.

We arrived back in Kona to shower, and meet Todd and Dan at their house for a drink on the patio as the sun set in the ocean.

Dinner at a local haunt, Jackie Rey's, and on to Huggo's on the Rocks, for a fantastic band, Hot Lava 808, singing awesome cover tunes of the 70s, 80s, 90s and today.  Our hope was for a touch campy and mildly bad, but having every element for failure - including a lone guitar player, a music track and a sketchy crowd, the girls sold it hard and we became true fans vowing to host the band at our next big event.  Good times.

Saturday, our final day in Kona before flying to the mainland.  After a week of sight seeing, the order of the day is sitting by the pool.  Rusty enjoyed a message as I spent the morning searching for tschotckies to distribute stateside.  The sun is out and the draw of chucking the massive amounts of responsibility weighing at home, it's hard not to fantasize about disappearing into the rainforest for a few years but alas mortgages and bills await. Mahola to Hawaii for inspiring this fantasy.  We'll certainly return.